Chittlins and Chopsticks
Those of you suffering from the heartbreak of disappearing flatware, take heart.
Instead of turning in a small circle in the middle of the kitchen muttering, "Where did all the forks go? What happened to the spoons? Why is a broken corkscrew and a crab cracker the only things in the cutlery drawer? Do as I did. Buy about a thousand of those disposalable chopsticks and insist that the little darlings use them at every meal. That's right, every meal, breakfast to dinner, soup to desert.
Oh, they'll fight you at first, but they have no choice. If they want to eat they'll use them. Don't change your menus either. Greens and cornbread? Chopsticks. Sweet potato pie. The same. Chittlin's, if you're so inclined? Chopsticks. Then sit back and watch the fun. You haven't lived until you see a kid trying to eat grits with chopsticks. Pretty soon they'll be so proficient you'll be taking them to those Chinese restaurants where the menus are entirely in Chinese just to show off their skills.
Another benefit--my 9-year-old, who is somewhat on the...ahem...chunky side, lost two pounds in one month on the Chopstick Diet.