Chittlin's and Chopsticks

Writer and mother, Terris McMahan Grimes, the Mother From Another Continent, an her friends share their slighty off kilter parenting views and their takes on a whole lot of other things.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Spanking vs Parenting

Sally Lieber, the California Assemblywoman who proposed a ban on spanking babies and little children, is a visionary as far as I’m concerned. My only complaints are—the proposed ban doesn’t go far enough, and it will never pass.

It’s illegal to hit your spouse when his actions displease you, the same should hold true for children. You can’t hit your neighbor when he fails to keep up his yard. You can’t hit your mother-in-law for saying nasty things about you. You can’t hit the guy in the other cubicle for yapping all day long on personal calls. There’s a whole bunch of people you can’t hit—except for children.

How does a spanking differ from a slap, a punch, a whuppin’, a beating? Some people don’t know how to distinguish between them. I’ve read about them those cases.

What does hitting a child teach her? How it feels to be powerless? That might equals right? That it's okay to hit others?

Using pain to teach a child is as barbaric as using pain to teach an adult. Floggings for adults has long since been outlawed. Kiddie flogging deserves the same fate.

Hitting is not parenting.


At 1/27/2007 9:45 AM , Anonymous mcMüller said...

I grew up in a home where I took my parents' love for granted. I also grew up in a home with spanks.

In my case, the spanks were never a surprise. Rather, they always came after I'd ignored a very clear verbal warning. A warning like this: "Stop doing what you're doing, Brian. If you don't stop, I will spank you."

Usually, the threat of a spank was enough to make me change my behavior. When the threat wasn't enough, the spank did the trick. There was pain involved in the spanks, but I don't think pain was "the point." Rather, the point was to get me to reconsider my bad behavior.

So in my case, spanks — and the spectre of spanks — worked like a charm. They were about 10,000 times as effective as threats of non-physical discipline.

I agree with you that hurting children is a horrible thing. I also think it's a bad idea to pass laws that penalize thoughtful and loving parents who choose to spank.

A stitch in time saves nine?

At 1/27/2007 7:57 PM , Blogger Mother From Another Continent said...

Brian, thank you for your well reasoned and thoughtful comment. I am rather passionate about this issue, so I might so rather dogmatic. Forgive me if I do.

You are fortunate to have grown up in such a loving family. I suspect that spanking was a somewhat symbolic act in your family--and good for you all.

My 22-year-old daughter thinks spanking is necessary, but only for hard-headed boys.

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At 8/11/2011 8:06 AM , Blogger father said...

I have a 4 year old she is all the world to me. However at times she refuses to go to her bed ,eat her veggies and runs off in park. One time I caught her playing in the fire place after I had told her not too. I took a thin bamboo stick used in the gardin and gave her two of the best with a minute in between each stroke. I believe that when a spanking is done it must be a savage beating of never more than 6 strokes. The idea is that you do not want to tease a child it should be once and for all. To this day she does not play in fire place nor runs of in the park with out my presence.


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