Joe--I Know You're Not A Racist

Joe, isn't it funny how good intentions can go so far awry?

I feel for you, Sweetie. Really, I do. If the Bush Baby can actually be president, you can at least run for the seat. Don't listen to your detracters. Run, Joe. Run your hardest.

Obama is clean. I know what you meant. You been boning up on Negro Speak, haven't you. You read Clarence Major's, Juba to Jive: A Book of African American slang, cover to cover, didn't you? You know what a lot of people don't--You know that when you referred to Obama as "clean" you meant he dresses with impeccable taste, he has a certain sartorial flair.

Joe, your campaign needs me. Hire me as your consultant. I'll explain things like this to the public. I'll help you stay the rhetorical straight and narrow. I can guarantee the Air Mom vote. Have your people call my people. Okay?

Words are my livelihood, Joe. They're my best friends. I play with them, build with them. If you want to compliment me, don't call me articulate, Sweetie. Call me brilliant.